My Movie Review

Draft 3 : Final Draft

My Struggles & How I Overcame Them

 

I had a struggle and it was a very big obstacle for me to overcome. Want to know what is it? Follow me through my story of struggles and success.

 

My struggle was when I was in Primary 6. I had to face the first National Examination in my studying period. Of course I was very worried for all my school examinations and all the more for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), as I was very weak in both Mathematics and Science, which I knew would pull my aggregate score down. During the Continual Assessment 1 (CA1), I failed my Mathematics and Science. After seeing the scores on my examination scripts, I was very depressed and disappointed. After I left my classroom with all my examination scripts on my hand, I was in deep thoughts about how I could improve on my weak areas, and so I thought the only way was to work very hard until the PSLE.

 

During my Semestral Assessment 1, I scored a 52 for my mathematics but at the same time failed my English and science, which then I was motivated to work even harder for the rest of the examinations. The Preliminary Examination came in a blink of an eye, and still I failed my Mathematics.

 In the end, I just work as hard as I can for the rest of the weeks and days until the arrival of the PSLE. I was very nervous but until the end of all the papers I still pulled through and did the papers without pressure. And soon the day of the collection of the PSLE results arrived, I was nervous and excited at the same time. When it was my turn to go and collect my results, I calmly told myself, I have done my best so whatever my results will be will be. When I saw my score, I was elated although I did not score 200 and above but 192 was already the best that I have achieved this year as we had calculated the estimation of my PSLE aggregates. In fact when I saw my grades, I was happy, as I managed to pass my mathematics with a ‘B’ and Science with a ‘C’, and most of all to get an ‘A’ for Chinese. So it is true that success is 99% perspiration and 1% intelligence.

 

 

Draft 2 : Structure – Writing Techniques

My Struggles & How I Overcame Them

 

I had a struggle and it was a very big obstacle for me to overcome. Want to know what is it? Follow me through my story of struggles and success.

 

My struggle was when I was in Primary 6. I had to face the first National Examination in my studying period. Of course I was very worried for all my school examinations and all the more for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), as I was very weak in both Mathematics and Science, which I knew would pull my aggregate score down. During the Continual Assessment 1 (CA1), I failed my Mathematics and Science. After seeing the scores on my examination scripts, I was very depressed and disappointed. After I left my classroom with all my examination scripts on my hand, I was in deep thoughts about how I could improve on my weak areas, and so I thought the only way was to work very hard until the PSLE.

 

During my Semestral Assessment 1, I scored a 52 for my mathematics but at the same time failed my English and science, which then I was motivated to work even harder for the rest of the examinations. The Preliminary Examination came in a blink of an eye, and still I failed my Mathematics.

 

 In the end, I just work as hard as I can for the rest of the weeks and days until the arrival of the PSLE. I was very nervous but until the end of all the papers I still pulled through and did the papers without pressure. And soon the day of the collection of the PSLE results arrived, I was nervous and excited at the same time. When it was my turn to go and collect my results, I calmly told myself, I have done my best so whatever my results will be will be. When I saw my score, I was elated although I did not score 200 and above but 192 was already the best that I have achieved this year as we had calculated the estimation of my PSLE aggregates. In fact when I saw my grades, I was happy, as I managed to pass my mathematics with a ‘B’ and Science with a ‘C’, and most of all to get an ‘A’ for Chinese. So it is true that success is 99% perspiration and 1% intelligence.

 

 

Draft 4 : Final Draft for Process Writing I

                                                           The Story Of A File

Yeah! It was the last day of 2013 where kids and their parents come and buy new stationery. I was seated on the shelves of the Popular Book Store for 6 months and yet every customer who walks by the shelf I was seated on and will take a look at me and tempted to get me but upon seeing my price tag, they sadly turn away and went to get other of my shelf mates as my price was too expensive for them to afford. But then a girl walked past the shelf and was attracted to me like bees to honey. She pulled her mother and came to my shelf to get a closer look. Her eyes grew wider and wider as she saw the beautiful patterns on me.

I was thrilled when she looked at me with those tempting eyes which tell me that she wants to get me. After giving deep consideration, she was clock-sure.  She then pleaded her mother to get me then, her mother thought deeply and said, “Okay”. I was a dog with two tails for my owner for choosing me rather than the other shoppers which just cuts your coat according to your cloth.

Soon after, I was put into a bag which in the center specified POPULAR. I was grinning from ear to ear and thought that my owner was a light in a sea of darkness. Then, I was brought to my owner home. When I entered my home, I was scanning the house 360 degrees. It was magnificent, then I was brought to the girl’s room and was laid down on the girl’s study desk. I was pasted with the girl’s name sticker so as she can identify me. Then, I thought what would I be filed with? English Worksheets? Math Worksheets? Science Worksheets? Chinese Worksheets? And other thoughts flooded my mind.

As soon as I knew it, I was being brought to the girl’s school: Chong Boon Secondary School. I was thrilled to meet the girl’s classmates and teachers. The school bell rang and there I was seated with the girl in her bag for her silent reading. One of my bag mates, storybook was taken out for the girl to read.  After that, I went to the girl’s classroom, which I was filled with the girl’s class timetable then a few other consent forms. I was so elated as how useful I become to the girl. Every day, I was taken out for the girl to take her homework out from me and every day she would smile at me as she admired my beauty.

The days past and soon it was the end of the year, I was being taken out of the girl’s school bag and was given a warm water bath, ah! How relaxing, I thought to myself. So the next school year arrived and then the same thing happened like the previous year and in a blink of an eye, 5 year had past and by then I wad old and worn out and so I was being dumped into the rubbish bin .  I was seating there waiting for my owner to come and pick me up.  As I wanted them to use me again as they just had to give a clean bath and I’ll be as good as new. I was so sad and disappointed that I sobbed and sobbed for days.

Suddenly an old frail man came to pick up the rubbish bag and fixed his glaze on me, I was shocked and at the same time startled back at him. He said, “This would be the perfect gift for my granddaughter!” And so he picked me up and threw the other rubbish.

 He took me to his house and then gave me to his granddaughter.  His granddaughter was thrilled when she saw me. So from that day onwards this family became my owner. They took care of me as if as I was gold.

Just when I thought I was dumped for good, I became a treasure to one again. I have found my happy days once more and thought the phrase “every cloud has a silver lining” was very appropriate.

 

 

Draft 3 : Figurative Language

                                                           The Story Of A File

Yeah! It was the last day of 2013 where kids and their parents come and buy new stationery. I was seated on the shelves of the Popular Book Store for 6 months and yet every customer who walks by the shelf I was seated on and will take a look at me and tempted to get me but upon seeing my price tag, they sadly turn away and went to get other of my shelf mates as my price was too expensive for them to afford. But then a girl walked past the shelf and was attracted to me like bees to honey. She pulled her mother and came to my shelf to get a closer look. Her eyes grew wider and wider as she saw the beautiful patterns on me.

I was thrilled when she looked at me with those tempting eyes which tell me that she wants to get me. After giving deep consideration, she was clock-sure.  She then pleaded her mother to get me then, her mother thought deeply and said, “Okay”. I was a dog with two tails for my owner for choosing me rather than the other shoppers which just cuts your coat according to your cloth.

Soon after, I was put into a bag which in the center specified POPULAR. I was grinning from ear to ear and thought that my owner was a light in a sea of darkness. Then, I was brought to my owner home. When I entered my home, I was scanning the house 360 degrees. It was magnificent, then I was brought to the girl’s room and was laid down on the girl’s study desk. I was pasted with the girl’s name sticker so as she can identify me. Then, I thought what would I be filed with? English Worksheets? Maths Worksheets? Science Worksheets? Chinese Worksheets? And other thoughts flooded my mind.

As soon as I knew it, I was being brought to the girl’s school: Chong Boon Secondary School. I was thrilled to meet the girl’s classmates and teachers. The school bell rang and there I was seated with the girl in her bag for her silent reading. One of my bag mates, storybook was taken out for the girl to read.  After that, I went to the girl’s classroom, which I was filled with the girl’s class timetable then a few other consent forms. I was so elated as how useful I become to the girl. Every day, I was taken out for the girl to take her homework out from me and every day she would smile at me as she admired my beauty.

The days past and soon it was the end of the year, I was being taken out of the girl’s school bag and was given a warm water bath, ah! How relaxing, I thought to myself. So the next school year arrived and then the same thing happened like the pervious year and in a blink of an eye, 5 year had past and by then I wad old and worn out and so I was being dumped into the rubbish bin .  I was seating there waiting for my owner to come and pick me up.  As I wanted them to use me again as they just had to give a clean bath and I’ll be as good as new. I was so sad and disappointed that I sobbed and sobbed for days.

Suddenly an old frail man came to pick up the rubbish bag and fixed his glaze on me, I was shocked and at the same time startled back at him. He said, “ This would be the perfect gift for my granddaughter! ”. And so he picked me up and threw the other rubbish.

 He took me to his house and then gave me to his granddaughter.  His granddaughter was thrilled when she saw me. So from that day onwards this family became my owner. They took care of me as if as I was gold.

Just when I thought I was dumped for good, I became a treasure to one again. I have found my happy days once more and thought the phrase “ every cloud has a sliver lining” was very appropriate.